It took years and a friend’s persuasion in order for me to finally give shamanism a chance. I’ve opened up to very few people about the magical experiences I have started to encounter. I think I’ve rightly had hesitations on the way I’ll be perceived as a mother or mentally ill person. At this point in my life, however, I think I’m ready to start sharing some of the “impossibles”. I’m aware of how good of a mom I am and I’m aware of the areas in my motherhood that contain room for improvement and it doesn’t include my interactions with the natural spiritual world. Falling deeper into this mystical realm has been one of the most stabilizing and healing paths I’ve yet to take. So, if you’re interested, curious, and opened minded, please join me and read!
At the end of our time in St. Louis, I started having some startling occurrences happen within our little loft. Once it started it was every single time. Every. Single. Time. Sam would leave to go hangout with friends (something he had done frequently throughout our several years in the place), I would hear a voice. It was clearly a masculine voice and seemed friendly enough. Though, he was mischievous and pushed boundaries.
Sam walks out of the front door; I hear the door close and lock.
Just a handful of moments pass.
The first time I heard him I almost passed out from the spook. As I nearly fall over from hearing a man’s voice that I don’t recognize, I hear a chuckle.
Who is that and why the hell is he laughing at me?
I panicked and called Sam in a spinning trepidation, begging him to come home because someone is definitely in the house. I’ve lived in it for years at this point and I know I can trust myself that the voice is coming from within our home and not elsewhere. I have a newborn at this point and the fear wouldn’t have been so debilitating if it were just me on a potential path to harm. I hear the voice continue to say words and make sounds until-
click. creak. creak. click.
Sam’s back home.
This pattern repeated itself for months. I drove myself into such an anxious state. “I must be losing it.” “Oh my god I really am crazy.”
I end up at a breaking point and decide to ask Sam to leave the house with Mattie. I’m facing this guy head on and I want him out. I cleanse the house. He never says another word to me after that.
“Maybe I’m not crazy, because I think that actually worked?”
Moving to Oregon was an accelerated leveling up with whatever you want to call it is that I’m experiencing. Not just me this time, but Sam too. We’re seeing things- things moving around the house or appearing behind each other. Our belongings are moving without explanation. Locked doors are opening and closing. What the fuck is going on?
Wanna know what I think is happening? Magic. Real and true magic.
Allowing myself to fall into the metaphysical possibilities of this plane has offered me an incredible amount of insight and supportive energy. When you find the capability within yourself to trust the external magic around you and to feel the connection between it All, you allow yourself to start trusting the internal magic as well.
So, I went to a shaman and things got even crazier. I think I’m gifted in the fields that I’m truly passionate about and I’m ready to learn it all. I want to know everything I can about why we live the way we do and the forgotten magic that’s never stopped encompassing us.
Take care of the planet and share love with the universe.
Peace and progress,